Shadow Team

6 months ago

4 video games Keanu Reeves would make more “breathtaking"

Avenger of dogs, taker of breath - a wholesome, handsome hero

Universally adored by almost every human being on the planet, our love for Keanu Reeves soared to all-new heights after his surprise appearance at E3 this year. Revealed as an in-game character for Cyberpunk 2077 to rapturous applause, Keanu took to the stage in front of an already excitable crowd. What happened next would prove to be a timeless, heartwarming moment that the internet, and gamers in particular, will never forget.

While describing the breathtaking world of Cyberpunk 2077, an overexberant fan shouted out that Mr. John Wick himself was the one who was in fact, “breathtaking”. Without missing a beat, but clearly flattered by the compliment, Keanu responded in kind to the fan and the hundreds in attendance. “You’re breathtaking!... You’re all breathtaking!”

Oh, Keanu. You really know how to make us feel special.

Starring as Johnny Silverhand in Cyberpunk 2077, Keanu’s appearance made us wonder what other games he could be in. And although the answer is quite obviously “every video game ever”, we’ve narrowed it down to four games which we believe Keanu Reeves would make more “breathtaking”.

Sleeping Dogs

As the protector of puppies and champion to all canine kind, Keanu would be ideally suited for the high-octane action of Sleeping Dogs. One tweak we’d like to make, however, is to change the game’s existing story of an undercover cop infiltrating the Chinese triads, to a man out on revenge because someone keeps waking up all the dogs in the neighborhood. Let sleeping dogs lie, or prepare to die - this game basically writes itself.

Hitman

Agent 47 is an exceptional assassin - that goes without saying - but we’d strongly argue that Keanu Reeves would look better in his signature suit. He’s also a world class hitman himself, with a knack for wielding high-powered weaponry as though it’s a poetic artform. We’d love to see Keanu don the red tie and garrote some bad guys for fun, but our only concern is that Keanu doesn’t look great bald. We can’t have it all though, can we?

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

A western samurai may make you wince at the mere thought, but Keanu proved he was up to the task in 47 Ronin, a seriously underrated movie available at all good retailers. As deadly with a blade as he is beautiful, Keanu would make the perfect protagonist for an epic hack and slash adventure. Many people argue that Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is in need of a stronger lead character and a more impactful story, so by adding Keanu’s adaptable acting skills and star-pulling power to the mix, you’re on to a winner.

John Wick Hex

Okay, including this game is kind of cheating as technically Keanu’s already in this one (at least his handsome face is), but it's a testament to just how good our idea really is. John Wick Hex is a fast-paced, action-oriented strategy game that puts you in the shoes (and mind) of the Baba Yaga. It’s described as, “fight-choreographed chess brought to life as a video game”, and promises to capture the series’ signature gun-fu style. It’s unclear whether Keanu will be voicing any lines in the game, but we’ll be crossing our fingers and toes that his sultry tones make into the final product.

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